Entering my lifes greatest turnover

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Its been a frustrating year for some that i love and know.
before the total decision and outcome, I was thrilled, i was so excited and loved what im having..It was my decision. A decision I made not just for myself but believe me it's also for my dad. I dont know if that decision was right. I still don't.
Someone told me that I'm selfish and was just thinking of myself. I wasn't thinking for my family and for my future. It became ironical. on the contrary, I am blamed. Forced to shouldered everything that lies ahead. I kept everything to myself. I kept my own reasons to myself. They would never understand my reasons..maybe they wouldn't ever. But still, right now im hoping for their happiness. what blessing they could give to them.
Right now, I will be on my own. My world with family and friends will soon become I and him. This is harder than i thought. far difficult than what I have imagined. What I'm going through is my lifes terrible nightmare. It all started with my fantasy, love, passion and dearness to my father. But maybe what I've done was really 100% wrong. Contrary to what I thought.
Right now, Im just hoping that the lord will be with us on our new journey...
the biggest challenge is coming and I weeping unto myself hoping that I could surpass it and will lead a glorious life and will soon be fulfilling my dreams.

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